
Let's talk about failure.
Many articles have been written about passing the CFA exams. However, since the pass rate is typically below 50%, one would expect the majority of articles to be written by candidates who weren't able to do enough to pass and (to use the dreaded f-word) failed the exams.
My belief is that I should take pride in my struggle. So in the interest of transparency, let's talk about failure.
I failed the Level 2 CFA exam last June and was devastated. If any of you have experienced it after properly studying, you'll know what I mean, and how it feels to pour months and months of solid effort to have it casually ejected back in your face.
My Exam Experience
I felt confident during the exam, both in the morning and the afternoon. I went through about 30 questions in a row during each session and thought, "This is too good to be true. I understand everything!" I didn't finish either session that well, especially in the afternoon when I ran out of gas after getting only two hours sleep the night before.
But the results said otherwise.
Receiving My Results
Finding out the results of a CFA exam is a nerve-wracking process. First of all, it takes the CFA Institute seven weeks to mark the exams. Those seven weeks feel like seven years and then, in the end, like seven minutes.
Prior to last year, the results were posted on the CFA Institute website at 9:00 in the morning. At that time, every candidate from every country in the world would simultaneously attempt to log on to the site. It would often take up to twenty minutes to log in.
The CFA institute remedied the situation last year. Now every candidate is sent an email with the results. This email can arrive at 9 am, 10 am, 11 am, or as late as noon. What is a nervous candidate to do? Check his or her email account every five minutes, every fifteen minutes, every hour, hoping that the email in question will finally be found in one's in basket, ready to be opened.
In my case, the email arrived at 10:30 am; I opened it with a sense of cautious optimism.
"We regret to inform you that you did not pass..." The words hit me like a sledgehammer. (At least the CFA Institute and I can commiserate together. It has regret and I have I don't know what.)
And then as my eyes looked further down the page, I came upon the offensive number 4. This was like shooting me in the stomach after I'm already dead. "There is no way I got a 4!" I shouted to myself. "They made a mistake! This isn't right! And I don't even get to see my test results to see how I did because the CFA Institute, that champion of transparency, is the most secretive organization that ever existed!"
(The number 4, in this context, refers to band number 4. The CFA Institute divides its failing candidates into ten equally populated groups. Band number 1 scored in the bottom 10% of those who failed, band number 2 scored better than 10-20% of those who failed, and so on. I would prefer a numerical score as opposed to a band. If I were to have answered 60% of the questions correctly, I believe I have a right to know that I answered 60% of the questions correctly. A graph of the distribution of the scores on the exam would be nice to see as well. But I digress...)
A few days after receiving my results, I paid the CFA Institute $100 for the privilege of having my test paper re-scored by a human being instead of by a dispassionate computer. This is how convinced I was that my intuition was a more valid barometer of my performance than my failing score. A week later, I received an email from the CFA Institute that expressed regret. My failing score had been confirmed.
I needed two months to get over my disappointment. The most discouraging part was the band I found myself in. I was in band number 4, which means that of the candidates who failed, I scored better than, at most, 40% of them.
How Did I Feel?
Imagine being on a first date with an attractive woman (or man). The conversation is stimulating. She laughs at all of your jokes, shares similar interests, and looks in your eyes for moments at a time with a dreamlike smile on her face. You may be persuaded into believing that she shares your attraction and would welcome another date.
This is how I felt. When she turns you down cold and doesn't let you know why, what will your state of mind be like on your next first date with your next eligible bachelorette? Will you trust your intuition if you think the evening is going well?
My answer is a resounding "Yes!" I will be back next year, more resolute than ever. Before my CFA adventures, if I studied for a test, I passed that test. My prior successes in the classroom give me a sense of confidence about this latest challenge. My failing score will defeat me only if I quit.
And I am not a quitter.
Howard Schwartz is a current Level 2 CFA candidate based in New York City. Read about his bio in our Guest Contributors page.