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Why I Never Give Up in the Face Of Failure

1/11/2012

13 Comments

 
Picture
By Howard Schwartz, Guest Contributor. 

Let's talk about failure. 

Many articles have been written about passing the CFA exams. However, since the pass rate is typically below 50%, one would expect the majority of articles to be written by candidates who weren't able to do enough to pass and (to use the dreaded f-word) failed the exams.

This is not the case. Many candidates, after tasting defeat, walk away from the CFA Institute and stop pursuing the charter. Others do not wish to leave a trail of documented unsuccessful attempts on the Internet because if and when they do pass, they want to give the impression they passed on the first attempt. Potential employers will be more impressed.

My belief is that I should take pride in my struggle. So in the interest of transparency, let's talk about failure.

I failed the Level 2 CFA exam last June and was devastated. If any of you have experienced it after properly studying, you'll know what I mean, and how it feels to pour months and months of solid effort to have it casually ejected back in your face.

My Exam Experience

I felt confident during the exam, both in the morning and the afternoon. I went through about 30 questions in a row during each session and thought, "This is too good to be true. I understand everything!" I didn't finish either session that well, especially in the afternoon when I ran out of gas after getting only two hours sleep the night before. 

But the results said otherwise.

Receiving My Results

Finding out the results of a CFA exam is a nerve-wracking process. First of all, it takes the CFA Institute seven weeks to mark the exams. Those seven weeks feel like seven years and then, in the end, like seven minutes. 

Prior to last year, the results were posted on the CFA Institute website at 9:00 in the morning. At that time, every candidate from every country in the world would simultaneously attempt to log on to the site. It would often take up to twenty minutes to log in.

The CFA institute remedied the situation last year. Now every candidate is sent an email with the results. This email can arrive at 9 am, 10 am, 11 am, or as late as noon. What is a nervous candidate to do? Check his or her email account every five minutes, every fifteen minutes, every hour, hoping that the email in question will finally be found in one's in basket, ready to be opened.

In my case, the email arrived at 10:30 am; I opened it with a sense of cautious optimism. 

"We regret to inform you that you did not pass..." The words hit me like a sledgehammer. (At least the CFA Institute and I can commiserate together. It has regret and I have I don't know what.)

And then as my eyes looked further down the page, I came upon the offensive number 4. This was like shooting me in the stomach after I'm already dead. "There is no way I got a 4!" I shouted to myself. "They made a mistake! This isn't right! And I don't even get to see my test results to see how I did because the CFA Institute, that champion of transparency, is the most secretive organization that ever existed!"

(The number 4, in this context, refers to band number 4. The CFA Institute divides its failing candidates into ten equally populated groups. Band number 1 scored in the bottom 10% of those who failed, band number 2 scored better than 10-20% of those who failed, and so on. I would prefer a numerical score as opposed to a band. If I were to have answered 60% of the questions correctly, I believe I have a right to know that I answered 60% of the questions correctly. A graph of the distribution of the scores on the exam would be nice to see as well. But I digress...)

A few days after receiving my results, I paid the CFA Institute $100 for the privilege of having my test paper re-scored by a human being instead of by a dispassionate computer.  This is how convinced I was that my intuition was a more valid barometer of my performance than my failing score. A week later, I received an email from the CFA Institute that expressed regret. My failing score had been confirmed.

I needed two months to get over my disappointment. The most discouraging part was the band I found myself in. I was in band number 4, which means that of the candidates who failed, I scored better than, at most, 40% of them. 

How Did I Feel?

Imagine being on a first date with an attractive woman (or man). The conversation is stimulating. She laughs at all of your jokes, shares similar interests, and looks in your eyes for moments at a time with a dreamlike smile on her face. You may be persuaded into believing that she shares your attraction and would welcome another date. 

This is how I felt. When she turns you down cold and doesn't let you know why, what will your state of mind be like on your next first date with your next eligible bachelorette? Will you trust your intuition if you think the evening is going well?

My answer is a resounding "Yes!" I will be back next year, more resolute than ever. Before my CFA adventures, if I studied for a test, I passed that test. My prior successes in the classroom give me a sense of confidence about this latest challenge. My failing score will defeat me only if I quit.

And I am not a quitter.

Howard Schwartz is a current Level 2 CFA candidate based in New York City. Read about his bio in our Guest Contributors page.
 

 
13 Comments


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Dollars To Donuts
1/11/2012 11:26:44 am

You've got a great attitude, Howard, and that's more than half the battle in my opinion. Your mental fortitude and your determination will get you past it the second time around, I'm sure.

Reply
Neha Seth
1/11/2012 10:16:54 pm

Howard,

i went through exactly same this year. CFA Level 2, dinged and my band number shook me too. i reacted exactly the way you did, i couldnt believe the email said Band 5!

Took me 2 months to accept this even though i registered for Level 2 ,a day after the results came. it was shattering, scarificed all hangouts, no break, just study day and night and this result.

I am also going to take CFA Level 2 again in 2013.

Reply
Geoff
2/11/2012 12:40:58 am

I failed Level 2 as well, but I couldn't remember which band I failed in. I went on to pass Levels 2 and 3 so hang in there guys, you'll get there in the end!

Reply
Howard Schwartz
2/11/2012 05:50:54 am

Thank you for all your support! I'm encouraged to learn that I'm not the only CFA candidate who has gone through this!

Reply
Kashif
2/11/2012 01:38:04 pm

I went through the same back in December '10 when i failed my Level1. My heart literally paused for a minute when i read "I sincerely regret to inform.." and i hate to admit i cried like a child. It took some time for me to get over with it, i registered again for December '11 my self-pride was at stake this time and in January '12 i literally jumped when i read "Congratulations.." i was so excited so happy that i didn't bothered to scroll down the email to see exam matrix!! LOL

I am a Level 2 Candidate, busy with the financial models so that the rest can be enjoyed with the real one's
Cheers!

Reply
Max G.
5/11/2012 07:11:35 pm

I completely feel your pain. I had the same thing happen to me with level 1. I studied for 500+ hours and did everything I was supposed to do, only to fail and score a 4 as well. It was the worst experience of my life. Like you I never failed tests in college or grad school, I got a 3.85 in a ranked full time MBA program and I completely and brutally failed the easiest of the three CFA exams. I truely think there are questionable ethical practices in grading these exams. Which question is "most likely" correct means there is more than one answer they can choose from to score the question. I have heard they take distributions for each question and select the answer gives them target benchmarks. Essentially they engineer the results to make money. That being said I am taking it again in December but if I fail this time I am done with this stupid thing.

Reply
Howard Schwartz
5/11/2012 09:32:10 pm

Max, I didn't pass Level 1 on the first try either. However badly I felt when I failed, I felt twice as good when I passed. I wish you all the best in December and look forward to taking the Kevel 2 exam when you do in June.

Reply
dash1s
20/1/2013 08:39:43 pm

"I completely feel your pain. I had the same thing happen to me with level 1. I studied for 500+ hours and did everything I was supposed to do, only to fail and score a 4 as well."

If you scored Band 4, you didn't study 500 hours. Sorry.

Reply
Muskie link
28/11/2012 12:20:24 pm

Most people definitely fail level 1 in fact I think most don't even show up... The fixed exam date can really work against some people depending how busy their day job / family / life is. Peaking at the right time is tough.

Once during my undergrad I got something like 11% on an assignment in a 400 level class. I thought I did pretty well implementing my solution. I tested it, it worked. If you're guessing it was a software algorithms class you'd be correct. I wrote my program in the official university computer science lab on a machine running AIX, a flavour of UNIX. The assignment was automatically graded by a TA who had some sort of automate test suite, all I did was email source code.

I went to the prof who happened to be the head of the department at the time and told him I thought my solution would have passed more automated tests, as unlike in the CFA I got a list back of my specific failures. I stated that the program worked in the official AIX lab before I submitted it.

Turns out the grad student ran the code on SOLARIS based machine (another flavour of UNIX) and some sort of weird ANSI vs non-ANSI C issue was to blame. My program was regraded and I got 90 something percent I went from literally the worst mark in the class to one of the top. The professor even pointed me out in class and suggested others might benefit from a recompiling and regrading if they had written their code using a different OS.

I don't think anyone's grade improved and it became class policy that your code must run on Solaris.

Moral of the story, sometimes your gut is correct and a regrading can help, but in most cases especially when the CFA Institute is concerned a regrading by a person will not altered your score 86 percentage points. It is in the CFA Institute's best interest and the best interest of current charter holders to set the bar as high as possible to preserve the exclusivity (scarcity) and thus value of the charter.

Good luck rewriting, I think there are definite benefits to rewriting as you know with greater certainty what you need to study. The exam score isn't very descriptive but it can point out your major weaknesses.

Reply
Nelly
28/11/2012 11:01:12 pm

I would argue that the reason there is little reason a retabulation would result in a significant change of score is that the format of the exam leaves little to interpretation.

The exam is designed to be as clear and as mass-gradable as possible, as they have hundreds of thousands of candidates to grade each year.

Reply
Muskie link
29/11/2012 02:30:55 pm

I totally agree, but my example was also designed to be computer gradable...

I stand by my statement that it is in the best interest of the CFAI and current charter holders to make it as difficult as reasonably allowable to achieve the charter, the original charter holders didn't even have to take 3 exams they were grandfathered in...

Muskie link
29/11/2012 02:31:22 pm

I totally agree, but my example was also designed to be computer gradable...

I stand by my statement that it is in the best interest of the CFAI and current charter holders to make it as difficult as reasonably allowable to achieve the charter, the original charter holders didn't even have to take 3 exams they were grandfathered in...

In other news why do I have enter my name every time I comment?

X link
3/12/2012 08:58:48 am

How else would we know who you are?




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